5 WAYS YOU’RE HOLDING YOURSELF BACK
and how to stop doing it
Buckle in and let’s deep because this piece is going to challenge and empower you. I want to stop you from holding yourself back from being your best self and from living your best life. I’m here to get you out of your own damn way.
Chances are this piece may be a bit close to home and confronting, you might not like reading some or all of it on a very personal level. But that’s the point.
In order to make real changes in life we first need to be challenged on our behaviours. After-all, I became a coach to help people positively change their lives and I’m writing this in the hopes it will do just that for you.
5 WAYS YOU MAY BE HOLDING YOURSELF BACK:
- You’re a people pleaser –
Having everyone like you 100% of the time is a fucking impossible feat and not to mention incredibly mentally and emotionally taxing. It’s also a completely unnecessary need (seriously, it is). I want my clients to have the confidence to speak up for themselves by staying true to the person they are. Being able to do this is vital when it comes to life because it gets and gives them R-E-S-P-E-C-T.I get it, for some of us (guilty at times!) it’s important to be liked but we also need to remember that what we want out of life is important, as is our happiness. People pleasing on most occasions strips us of our own wants and needs so it’s important that we remind ourselves that our wants matter.How to stop being a people pleaser: Consistently remind yourself that you and what you want matters. Start with small things like honestly answering your partner with the place you want to visit for lunch instead of saying “I’m easy”. Remind yourself that you CAN and SHOULD start saying yes to yourself.
- You don’t believe in yourself –
When clients come to me and speak of not achieving their goals, not taking risks, not asking for promotions etc it’s a clear indication that they’re struggling with self-belief. If you’re not believing in yourself you’re ultimately feeding the negative doubt that sits in your mind. You MUST believe in yourself in order to achieve your goals and dreams. I want my clients to have such a strong grasp of self belief so they KNOW they can do anything, especially with the right mindset.How to start believing in yourself: Work with me! Haha. But seriously…if working with a coach isn’t your thing you really need to start training your brain for positive words and self-talk. I recommend you write down some things that you like about yourself and routinely read them aloud every single day until you truly start believing them.
- You make blanket rules and assumptions based on one occurrence or scenario –
Ever woken up in the morning and stubbed your toe so you assume the rest of the day is going to be shit? So then when you get to work and spill your coffee you throw out the whole ‘I knew today was going to be fucked’ vibe (because deeer, the stubbed toe)?. If this (or examples like this) are relatable it is a clear sign you’re sabotaging your WHOLE DAMN DAY with a stupid blanket rule.How to stop falling into ‘blanket rule’ mentality: Remind yourself that it’s just a situation and that you have the mental and emotional power to move forward from it and leave it in the past. Don’t allow your energy to focus on it because like we know, ‘where attention goes, energy flows’. So if you keep giving attention to the shit moments, you’re going to have more of them! STOP IT ALREADY!
- Your self talk is consistently negative –
What’s the track playing in your head? Is it consistently telling you that you’re not good enough? That you’re not worthy? That you’re not pretty enough? That you’re not skinny enough? Self talk can do a lot more harm then good if you can’t get control of it and turn it into positive words. Negative self talk holds us back by making us question ourselves, our abilities and our worth.How to build positive self talk: Like I mentioned above, work with me. Otherwise, start challenging the negative talk by replacing it with positive phrases!
- You always blame someone or something else for your life circumstances –
Is nothing in life ever your fault? Do you never make bad decisions? Is it always someone else’s responsibility that something didn’t go your way? Can you not get a better job because of a bullshit reason? Are you unable to do something in life because of your own choices?Are you getting the point I’m making?
How to stop blaming others or external factors for your life circumstances: TAKE SOME ACCOUNTABILITY! Your life, your choices. You got yourself here and if you wanna get yourself out, THAT IS ON YOU. If you don’t take accountability for your life you’ll forever be holding yourself back from having the life that you want (and deserve).
You deserve to be happy and to live a life you’re proud of, so stop holding yourself back!
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