For couples
You might be here if:
You’re building something outside the heteronormative template and there’s no roadmap for what you’re trying to create
You've tried couples therapy and spent half the session educating your therapist about queer dynamics, polyamory, or non-traditional relationship structures
You're both "doing the work" individually, but the relationship still feels stuck or dying
The same conflict keeps emerging in different forms around power, visibility, roles, intimacy, or how you navigate the world together
Something in the dynamic feels dead or dying, but you can't name it precisely because the language available was built for straight relationships
One or both of you is constantly accommodating, performing, or managing the other's discomfort
You're navigating coming out, transition, opening your relationship, or questioning monogamy and the relational structure you built before doesn't fit anymore
You can feel invisible patterns running the show, but traditional relationship frameworks don't map onto what you're experiencing
You're functional externally, maybe even politically aligned and supportive, but intimacy feels performative or dead
You suspect the problem isn't either of you - it's that you're trying to relate inside a structure that was never designed for queer people in the first place
The relationship has experienced a significant boundary break or rupture (infidelity).
I'm queer and married to a woman. I came out after leaving a heterosexual marriage where I'd spent years trying to fit myself into a structure that was never built for me.
I work with both heterosexual and LGBTQIA+ couples - and I bring something different to each. With straight couples, I see the patterns and expectations you might not even know you're working within. With queer couples, I understand the specific dynamics that show up when you're building something outside the traditional script.
What I’m not.
I'm not a therapist, psychologist, or mental health clinician. I don't diagnose, treat, or provide clinical care for mental health conditions. If you're navigating active mental health diagnoses - whether that's depression, anxiety disorders, PTSD, bipolar, or anything else requiring clinical support - I'm not the right person for you. You need someone with the training and credentials to work within that context, and that's not me.
I'm also not here to provide crisis support or manage acute psychological distress. If you're in a mental health crisis, please reach out to a registered psychologist, your GP, or a crisis service like Lifeline (13 11 14).
What I do offer (see more below) is transformation work for couples who are fundamentally well but stuck - caught in patterns they can't seem to break, navigating relational dynamics that keep repeating, or trying to shift something in relationship that feels immovable. If that's you, and you're ready to do the work, I'm here.
What I actually do.
I treat the relationship as my client, not the two (or more) of you as individuals.
Most couples therapy, even queer-affirming therapy, focuses on helping people relate better to each other within existing (heteronormative) frameworks. I see the relationship itself as a living system with its own patterns, defence mechanisms, and trajectory. And I understand that queer relationships are fundamentally built differently because we're creating outside inherited scripts.
I'm not asking "how can you communicate better?" I'm asking: "What is this relationship system doing? What's it protecting? What's dead in it? What's trying to emerge? What heteronormative patterns are you unconsciously replicating? What queer relational possibilities are you not letting yourselves explore?"
Examples:
You think the issue is that one person is "too much" and the other is "not enough." I'll show you what the relationship system is protecting through that dynamic—what intimacy, power redistribution, or structural change it's avoiding by keeping you both locked in those roles.
You believe the problem is sex, money, domestic labour distribution, or how visible you are as a couple. I'll show you those are symptoms of deeper patterns—often unconscious agreements you made when the relationship began that no longer serve either of you but haven't been consciously renegotiated.
You came out, transitioned, or opened your relationship and now everything feels broken. I'll show you whether the relationship can evolve into this new structure or whether it was built for a version of you that no longer exists.
You're polyamorous and one relationship is threatening the stability of your whole constellation. I'll show you what pattern is actually breaking down and whether it's that specific relationship or the entire structure.
I articulate what's come to an end in the dynamic.
Sometimes the relationship is salvageable and wants to evolve. Sometimes it's already over but neither of you can see it clearly enough to act. Sometimes it needs to die completely in its current form before something new can be built. Sometimes you're co-parents or chosen family building a life together, but the romantic/erotic connection needs re-establishing because it’s completely gone.
I'll tell you which one you're in - not to be cruel, but because clarity is kinder than false hope or prolonged denial.
Examples:
The partnership still functions for shared logistics and chosen family, but the erotic and romantic connection is dead. It died approximately 18 months ago when [specific pattern]. Here's what killed it, here's whether it can be resurrected, and here's what resurrection would actually require from both of you.
You're replicating heteronormative power dynamics - one of you holds all the emotional/domestic labour and the other remains functionally dependent. This isn't about your genders, it's about an inherited structural pattern. It can be redesigned, but both roles have to die first.
One of you is still closeted or in transition and the relationship is structured around managing that. The relationship itself has become a container for someone's unfinished identity work. That has to resolve before you can see what the actual relationship is.
How we work together.
Step 1: Relational Dynamic Assessment
45 minutes | $495 + GST
This is where we map the relationship - the patterns you're caught in, the things you're not saying, the places where you're both stuck or out of sync. We're looking at the system you've built together, not just the surface conflicts.
This session gives you clarity on what's actually happening between you, and what needs to shift if you want something different.
The assessment is a standalone investment - it doesn't come off your package if you decide to continue. You're paying for my time and analysis regardless of what happens next.
Step 2: 3-Month Couples Transformation
$4,125 + GST (paid upfront)
After your assessment, if we're a fit for ongoing work, you commit to 3 months.
This includes:
2 individual intake sessions (45 minutes each - one per person) Individual space to work through your own patterns before we address what's happening between you.
6 couples sessions (60 minutes each, fortnightly over 3 months) Deep work on the relational dynamic, the invisible patterns, and what needs to shift.
You decide the cadence that works for you - whether that's alternating between individual and couples work, frontloading individual sessions, or spacing them evenly. The structure is designed to give each of you space to work through your own material while also addressing what's happening between you.
After 3 months: We assess where the relationship is and structure another commitment if you want to continue. Most couples do.
Transformation work isn't built for one-off conversations. Three months gives us enough time to actually shift something rather than just talk about it.