For individuals
When your patterns keep you stuck (in relationships, work, life) and you're done performing change without transformation.
You might be here if:
You can articulate your problems brilliantly but can't seem to actually change them
Youāve done therapy, read the books, listened to the podcasts, know your patterns - and youāre still repeating the same dynamics across different contexts
The same relational patterns show up everywhere: with partners, colleagues, friends, family, even how you relate to money or success
You keep hitting invisible ceilings in your career, relationships, or personal growthāand strategy isn't the issue
Something about how you operate feels fundamentally misaligned with who you're becoming
You're intelligent enough to see the patterns but can't seem to interrupt them at the source
You suspect the problem isn't the specific relationship/job/situationāit's something in how YOU relate to everything
What Iām not
I'm not a therapist or counsellor of psychologist.
I'm not a coach with communication scripts, mindset shifts, or productivity hacks.
I'm not here to make you feel better about patterns that need to die. I'm not focused solely on romantic relationships - that's reductive to what I actually do.
What I actually do
I map your relational operating system, across ALL contexts.
People think they have separate "work problems," "relationship problems," "money problems," "family problems." Usually, it's one operating system generating all of them.
In our first assessment session, I'm looking for the invisible architecture underneath your patterns: the identity beliefs, defence mechanisms, and unexamined assumptions that are running the show across every domain of your life.
Examples:
You struggle with boundaries in romantic relationships AND can't say no to clients AND let family overstep constantly. That's not three separate problems, it's one identity structure expressing in three contexts.
You self-sabotage right before breakthrough in your business AND in your intimate relationships AND in your health goals. Same pattern, different stage.
You're attracted to emotionally unavailable partners AND chronically undercharge for your work AND have friendships where you give more than you receive. One operating system, multiple expressions..
I help you see whatās running the show
Most people think they're making conscious choices about how they relate: to partners, colleagues, money, success, visibility, authority, themselves.
Usually, they're executing a programme installed decades ago. I make that programme visible, not to shame it, but to give you the option to consciously redesign it.
Examples:
You avoid conflict everywhere: at work (don't negotiate), in relationships (suppress needs), with family (keep the peace). I'll show you the identity belief underneath that (maybe: "Conflict means abandonment" or "My anger is dangerous") and how it's generating all of it.
You chronically over-give in every context: relationships, work, friendships, family. Not because you're "codependent" (reductive), but because your identity is built on "I'm only valuable when I'm needed." Once we shift that at the identity level, the over-giving stops across every domain simultaneously.
You sabotage success right before breakthrough. Not because of "impostor syndrome," but because visibility triggers an old identity belief like "Being seen is dangerous" or "Success means betraying where I came from." We dismantle that, and suddenly you can actually receive what you've built.
Change doesn't happen through willpower, "doing better," or behaviour modification. It happens when you shift the identity structure generating the behaviour.
I help you redesign who you are in relation to:
Partners and intimacy
Authority and power
Money and success
Family and origin dynamics
Work and professional identity
Yourself and your own needs
Visibility and recognition
Conflict and confrontation
Whatever specific pattern you're stuck in
Examples:
Instead of "setting better boundaries" (performance), we shift the identity belief to something like "I'm whole without being needed." The boundaries follow naturally across every context.
Instead of "being more confident" (surface), we dismantle the belief that "Being powerful means being alone" or "Success makes me a target." Confidence becomes effortless once the identity structure supports it.
Instead of "learning to receive" (behavioural), we address why receiving feels dangerous at an identity level. Then receiving becomes natural in relationships, money, recognition, supportāeverywhere.
I architect new patterns at the identity level, not behavioural band-aids.
What we work on
Whatever relational pattern is keeping you stuck:
Romantic relationships:
š Repetitive partner choices or dynamics
š Intimacy avoidance or enmeshment
š Boundaries, needs, desire, power dynamics
Friendship patterns:
š¦ Over-giving or under-receiving
š¦ Difficulty maintaining closeness or appropriate distance
š¦ Repetitive friend dynamics (always the therapist, always the rescuer, etc.)
Professional/work:
š¦ Chronic undercharging or under-earning
š¦ Visibility resistance or impostor patterns
š¦ Authority issues (with it or claiming it
š¦ Success sabotage or ceiling-hitting
š¦ Team/colleague dynamics that repeat
Relationship to self:
š Self-worth, self-trust, self-abandonment patterns
š Internal critic or harsh self-judgement
š Difficulty making decisions or trusting your knowing
š Relationship to your body, needs, desires
Family/origin patterns:
š Roles you can't escape (caretaker, scapegoat, hero, etc.)
š Boundaries with parents, siblings, extended family
š Inherited beliefs about money, success, relationships, worthiness
Money/success:
š¦ Chronic under-charging relative to skill/value
š¦ Fear of being seen
š¦ Fear of success
š¦ Success immediately followed by sabotage
How we work together
Individual Pattern Assessment (60 minutes | $450 + GST)
A focused session to identify the hidden relational and systemic patterns governing your current situation. Whether that's in relationships, work, money, family dynamics, or how you relate to success and visibility.
You'll leave with:
Clarity on the identity structure generating your stuck patterns across contexts
Insight into what's actually blocking you (not what you think is blocking you)
A map of the structural shifts needed at the identity level
Understanding of whether ongoing work would serve your transformation
Ongoing Strategic Work:
Most clients move into ongoing retainers after their initial assessment, because identity-level redesign doesn't happen in one session - it requires sustained pattern tracking and conscious restructuring over time.
Monthly retainer: $900 + GST
3 x 30-minute sessions per month
Real-time pattern recognition support between sessions
Evolutionary tracking as new identity structures establish
Access for questions/observations as patterns surface in daily life
This isn't therapy or coaching - it's strategic relational architecture. We're redesigning the operating system generating your patterns, not managing symptoms.